WHY I QUIT & WHY I’M BACK

me8.jpgGood morning Friend. I’m so glad to see you again. I have missed you. Really? You’ve missed me too? Let’s just pretend that I believe you. *wink* I’ll give you a rundown of what I’ve been up to lately. Ok, here’s the situation…

As you may recall, the last time we spoke was just after the Parkland school shooting. Yeah, that took a pretty big toll on my spirit. I felt physically ill watching NRA spokesperson, Dana Loesch. She tried to escape culpability using demonizing language like “insane monster”, “nuts”, “crazy person”, “dangerous madman”, etc– a tactic employed to dehumanize the shooter and relegate him to the category of “other”.

Don’t misunderstand me, what he did was atrocious. I believe he should be held accountable for the lives he took and the trauma he caused. At the same time, it is imperative that we scrutinize our culture and institute changes that make it nearly impossible and unthinkable for this to happen again. That means funding programs to promote mental health and wellness, identifying and counseling individuals that pose a threat to themselves and their communities, regulating the type of weapons available to the public, and (most importantly) cultivating a society in which we replace the fear of “others” with love for all people.

As long as we continue to follow Dana’s lead, we refuse to empathize with the mentally disturbed young man nor do we seek ways to prevent future occurrences. Instead of examining all the ways in which we failed those children, we vilify the shooter in order to divorce ourselves from the responsibility we share for creating a society that breeds such tragedies. He was a “crazy madman”, not a regular person like our sons. This was an unfortunate crime committed by an “insane monster”, not a decent human being like our law-abiding gun enthusiasts. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Sooo, yeah. That’s where I left you. I had to take some time away from all media to rebuild my confidence in humanity. I also needed to redefine my own contribution to the world. I was drowning in the massive whirlpool of chaos and contention that presently has a grip on our country. I could not find my way to the shore and felt useless to help anyone else to dry land. Even if I could reclaim my peace amidst the chaos, I began to doubt that my tiny voice would affect the echo chamber of meanness. Then, I remembered this quote from A Course in Miracles:

brown book page
Photo by Wendy van Zyl on Pexels.com

“Your littleness deceives you, but your magnitude is of Him Who dwells in you, and in Whom you dwell.” (ch. 15, p. 346)

Ok, what does that even mean? I interpret it as a reminder that we are each greater than our small, egoic minds allow us to believe. We are inextricably linked to an awesome Power (feel free to call it whatever sounds most true to you) that guides our words and actions as long as we are brave enough to trust in Its mastery. Though we are not aware of how our input can or will impact the whole, we must know that, ultimately, every thought we think, word we speak and deed we do influences the world we share. I also take comfort in the fact that we all dwell in the same Creator acting as Its creation. Meaning, we can’t muck it up too much before nature course corrects.

Ultimately, ACIM rescued me from the idea that nothing I do matters, so I may as well do nothing. It’s a good thing that I was open enough to receive the message, because I think I was running out of K-Dramas to watch on Netflix. Now, I’m back. I decided to actually write Monday through Friday like a real job. Nope, not a job. Like the work that I feel moved to do. For whatever reason, I am a conduit. I have been given and have accepted this role years ago. There are many messages that I must convey, and the time is primed for me to relay them to you, Friend.

I decided to write this post today, so I can have a clean start on Monday. It’s sort of like opening the window and allowing that stale, farty air to escape before I turn on the fan. There’s no sense in circulating the funk cloud I have been inhaling these past seven months. Instead, I want to be like the fresh laundry aroma that warms your heart.

Aside from watching K-Dramas (and A LOT of Mandarin drama/comedies too), I bought a house! It’s a little 1950s rambler in Northern Virginia, about 10 miles outside the heart of D.C. It was nicely updated, but completely not my style. Over the summer, we updated it. I restained the hardwood floors, painted every wall (except in the guest bedroom), bought and built furniture, refinished the fireplace, installed plumbing in 3 bathrooms (including reconfiguring a single sink into a double), installed new light fixtures, installed some new plugs, created a mudroom-like area, created a pantry and work space, built a king sized bed, etc. So, I’ve found ways to keep myself busy. I suppose I can show before and after pictures in the first “new” post.

That’s it! If you have any specific questions that I did not address, just hit me up. I’ll do my best to answer you.

Ciao!

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